I love when readers reach out and ask me follow up questions to Chasing Butterflies. Recently, I received this question:
In your book you said many times that you didn’t like discussing 9/11 or your dad. So what made you decide to write Chasing Butterflies? How were you able to go from not sharing your story to suddenly sharing everything?
I find this question so important because it shows how grief can change over time. It also shows how an individual’s perspective on life can evolutionize and change. And isn’t that the beauty of life? Constantly growing into a better and stronger version of yourself?
When I was a teen and in my early twenties, I felt defined by 9/11. Naturally, I wanted to escape from that label. I yearned to be just like everybody else. That’s what I strived to do, attending college, getting a job in Manhattan after graduation, dating, and trying to live a “normal” life. A regular and happy life that my dad would have wanted for me - after experiencing such heavy tragedy in my youth.
As I matured into my thirties and continued my passion for writing, I hit one problem. I can only write what I know. I don’t write novels or fantasy. I see a computer and tap on the keys and what comes out of me is the experience that I’ve had, the laughs and sorrows that life has handed me. I write what I know - and what I know is 9/11, losing my dad, and overcoming tragedy. I also know about finding love and creating a happy family. Side note, I also know how to make great cocktails and dance like nobody’s watching but that’s for another blog.
When I completed Chasing Butterflies I wanted it to be a novel so that I didn’t have to own my words. It could just be a work of fiction. But that didn’t sell. Chasing Butterflies only got a gold star if it was a memoir, that’s what gave the story a pulse. (My wonderful literary agent gave me this advice).
About a month before my memoir was published, my agent Jeff said, “Are you sure you’re ready for this? There’s no turning back.” My story was going to be out there. Everyone could know everything about me by picking up this book and reading it cover to cover. I thought about this for so long. This is where the famous saying goes, you have to believe in yourself. Deep down I knew that I had a story worth telling.
The biggest reason I decided to publish is because my children and grandchildren will one day have this incredible key to my heart. This story will live on longer than I will. My dads name and his legacy will also continue on as readers flip through the pages. It’s my greatest goal to show the world that overcoming tragedy brings so much joy to life. It truly is how you pick yourself up and move forward that defines you. I want my children to see that. And maybe somewhere, my dad can see all of this and know that he did a good job with me. Lastly, I put my heart into Chasing Butterflies. But a lady never reveals all of her secrets. There’s many more memories, both good and bad, that have yet to be uncovered. After all, I had to save something for book number two.