When I wrote the bulk of Chasing Butterflies it was a great escape. I was postpartum, taking care of my three month old daughter. It was mid winter, the Manhattan streets were slushy from snow, and every exhale created a small cloud of condensation in the air. It floated into the sky, a reminder of the sub-zero temperature. Not exactly ideal weather to stroll around a newborn. So I stayed home a lot, cuddling with my baby girl. But my brain felt like it was sleeping , not challenged or churning. I needed more intellectual stimulation, something separate from changing diapers, pouring formula, and making horrible swaddles that came apart too easily.
I dusted off the laptop that had been sitting under my bed for a few years and began to type. I felt an electricity through my body, like my brain had a purpose, a goal, to finish this book that I had put on the back burner when I decided to have children. It was the perfect dose of medicine I needed, a reminder that I had a talent and dreams to nurture.
Many people have asked what’s going on with my writing now. I’ll say that I’m working on a 9/11 Children’s book along with a sequel to Chasing Butterflies. However, instead of my laptop collecting dust under my bed it’s now broken on my kitchen counter, in need of repair. But I don’t seem in a rush to get it fixed. In this moment , I don’t want the escape. As I chase two kids around the house and work on creating a new home and memories with my family, that’s my focus. I want to live in the present. Not typing on my laptop while the kids run around, often times banging on the keys and deleting my work. I am choosing to be present with them.
So as for the writing, it’s happening slowly. I’m sure in future situations will be a much needed vacation for my mind as I tap on the keyboard and mentally drift away. For now, today at least, it’s just momming, and that’s okay with me.