I’ve gone through many phases while parenting through COVID. In 2020, I was living in Manhattan when the world shut down. It was then that my two-year-old daughter touched all of the buttons in the elevator in our apartment building. To my distress, her hands quickly went to her lips where she proceeded to lick her fingers. That’s when the visual of lethal, spikey COVID cells would infiltrate her system. Fortunately we managed through 2020, and most of the last two years, without testing positive.
Now, two years later, my kids are both in preschool and any parent with children in school will attest that it’s a whole new world, one certainly not as majestic or inspiring as the world in Aladdin. COVID with children often feels like a warped game of spin the bottle. The randomness of who the bottle lands on, an equivalent of the unlucky household that has to deal with COVID. There’s no rhyme or reason for who catches it. School today seems to be a revolving door of exposures, followed by rapid tests, PCR tests, and multi-day quarantines. At this point taking a COVID test reminds me of taking pregnancy tests before I was ready to have children. Just hoping that swab doesn’t light up with the words “you’re pregnant” and life changes forever. Except now instead of finding out you’re having a baby it’s realizing you’re stuck at home with your babies for what seems like an eternity.
At first it’s great. That uninterrupted family time. We are the lucky ones, right? The people who have gotten COVID and been mostly healthy and asymptomatic. But let’s face it, the constant family time has the shelf span of freshly sliced fruit at the grocery store. It’s amazing on days one and two; sweet and refreshing. Then on days three and four it doesn’t have the same finesse. There’s a hint of bitterness, just like the attitudes of the little ones, but we let it slide. And as the week progresses and the fruit goes sour, so do our moods.
Parenting while quarantining has also reminded me that my mom game is not where it should be. Did you know it’s a thing now to send quarantine gifts? Once, I opened my front door to find an adorable little jewelry making kit for my daughter while she was home in quarantine. My mom friends sure are sweet. Although, it’s as if I didn’t have mom shame enough for being consistently late to drop off, not cooking home made dinners, and sometimes giving the kids dessert before dinner. Now I’m the mom that hasn’t sent quarantine gifts to my friends who’ve been stuck at home.
There’s also the class Zooms during quarantine. My daughter’s school did an amazing job organizing these. I was proud of myself too. I got my daughter dressed, hair combed, supplies ready for use as the Zoom began. Then snack time came at 10am. I found myself sliding around the kitchen in my socks, looking for the quickest treat to toss over to her so she could Zoom eat with her friends. Gummy bears, sure why not? At least they were organic!
It wasn’t until I was chatting with a fellow mom and she said, “ Did you see the snack that little Jimmy was eating on Zoom? I just don’t do junk food for snacks so early in the morning.” At that moment, I had a choice. I could stand up for that mom that rushed to find her child a snack, just like myself, and the gummy bears were the first treat in the front of the pantry. I could own the fact that it’s hard to be a mom and say, hey! give that mom a break, we are all trying our best.
Instead, I nodded my head in agreement as I mouthed the words “Totally, who does that?” To all the parents out there during quarantine, may the force be with you (along with lots of wine).